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Speaking of Beer : A review of Big Flats fromThe Best Stuff Ever

August 31, 2011

tortoise erection

How about a hearty mug of pond water?

When I think Walgreens, I think armed robbery – not a brewery. But all that is changing now that executives somewhere have decided a $2.99 six-pack is exactly what this world was missing. First, lets get the easy part out of the way: it is amazing that they would name this product “Big Flats”. When I think of words that make me want to buy beer, ‘flat’ immediately comes to mind.

“It’s the water that makes it,” reads the can. This either means that water is the only ingredient, or that you should be out at the YMCA pool collecting samples to ferment. Reviews describe the aroma and flavor as “skunk” to “corn”. Dangermike recently loaded up, because if a $1.50 beer makes you jump for joy, a $.50 beer makes you have a mild seizure – before possibly beginning to question what you are ingesting.

Big Flats is pretty much what you’d expect – carbonated pond water. This vaults it well past Milwaukee’s Best Ice on the respectability totem pole, but that’s kind of like saying you beat your uncle with Alzheimer’s at concentration. On one hand, it’s the only way you’re going to pay 50 cents or less for a beer. On the other, that’s pretty clearly not beer pictured above. But hey, you could probably do worse.

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When I saw this at Walgreen’s, I was afraid to try this. Now I don’t have to.

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